Not All Skills Are Measured By Grade

“Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers. Many people of average intelligence are skilled thinkers. The power of a car is separate from the way the car is driven.” - Edward de Bono

It’s September at last, which means across the country thousands of young people are heading back into school for a new year. Over the summer, I have worked with many students who were concerned that their grades weren’t good enough. Some received their GCSE and A Level results and were disappointed (especially with the smug A* faces waiting in the crowd desperate to rub it in). Some were about to start the journey to those exams and thought a C wasn’t good enough, and that they would fail in life because of it. But I have a message for every single child, teenager or even adult struggling with those thoughts – you don’t know how wrong you are.

I want to share with you an extract from a letter a teacher sent to pupils sitting their SAT’s last May:

‘The SATs tests do not assess all of what makes each of you special and unique. The people who create these tests and score them do not know each of you the way that we do and certainly not in the way that your families do. They do not know that some of you speak two or more languages or that you love to sing or draw. They have not seen your natural talent for football or playing a musical instrument. They do not know that your friends can count on you to be there for them; that your laughter can brighten the darkest day or that your face turns red when you feel shy. They do not know that you participate in sports or are fascinated by space, or that sometimes you help your mum with your little brother or sister before school. They do now know that you are kind, trustworthy and thoughtful and that every day you try to be your very best.’

I love this woman. She has summed up everything I believe in far better words than I ever could. At school we are taught that getting good grades is the key to success. If you can fill up that exam sheet with A*’s, you are guaranteed a great life. But if you don’t manage that, then you will be a looser forever. This is absolute rubbish. While how you do in school might be your immediate concern, it’s your passion, drive and other non-academic talents that can really take you places, no matter what’s on your results sheet. To prove it, let’s take a look at a few successful people who didn’t do well at school:

•  2-time world champion wrestler Mark Schultz was born with severe dyslexia and consistently achieved low grades in English.

•  Richard Branson dropped out of school at 15 and went on to start over 500 successful companies.

•     Alan Sugar left school at 16 without a single qualification. He is now worth £900m.

•      John Snow (the Channel 4 newsreader, not the guy from Game of Thrones, sorry!) got a C, D and E in his A Levels.

•  Benedict Cumberbatch admitted to ‘spectacularly blowing’ his GCSE’s due to discovering girls, despite his teachers expecting ‘Oxbridge levels of brilliance’ from him.

•     Thomas Edison (the man who brought us the electric lightbulb) was told by his teachers that he was ‘too stupid to learn anything’. 

•     And finally, world renowned loudmouth Jeremy Clarkson tweeted that ‘If your A Level results aren’t great be cheered by the fact that I got a C and two Us. And I’m currently sitting in a villa in St Tropez.’

So this year instead of focusing on your grades as if they are the be all and end all of your life, try to relax and do something you enjoy. Take the time to practice your musical instrument or play that game of football. Never forget that life’s achievements and success aren’t always measured by A*’s. Some of the most successful people in our world today don’t have a single qualification to their name, but they do have other skills that are just as important. Determination, motivation, the ability to try or the ability to learn from your mistakes are incredibly important to the success and happiness of your life. You academic achievements may matter, but the nonacademic achievements and qualities are what make you unique and will allow you to make your mark on the world with or without good grades.  So yes, try hard at school and aim for the best grades you can. But if you don’t quite manage it, remember that your exam results don’t determine your success in life.

For more information or to book a session to talk about your exam worries, get in touch via my website let’s work together to achieve brilliance in your own way. 

10 Things To Consider When Picking A Secondary School

September is a really hard time to be a parent. For a lot of us it’s time to send the kids off to uni, or to school for a brand new year full of new challenges. But for some of us with children in year 6, we face the daunting task of picking which secondary school we want out child to go to. Now you might have already decided or be limited to just one school, but we are all given the impression that we can choose. All the local schools put on open evenings or open their doors for the day to show off what they can offer – which can be really confusing and overwhelming for us parents. Having been through the process once before (with my eldest just starting year 9) I am now about to embark on the same journey again with my youngest child.  So for all the first time or veteran parent starting the process again, here’s my top 10 tips for picking your secondary school from both my professional and personal experience.

 

      1.     Go And Visit All Your Potential Schools

This might seem obvious, but don’t be persuaded to pick a school based on what everyone else says. This goes double for schools that are deemed to be ‘outstanding’ or failing. These views can skew our perspective when it comes to choosing schools and stop us giving them a real chance. Make sure you visit the open evening or go to the school during an open day to get a first-hand feel for how the school is run and how happy and engaged the students are. That’s where the real truth is.

      2.     Take Your Children With You

I know this is another obvious one, but many parents don’t take their children with them to visit the schools they are looking at. At the end of the day your child will be spending 5 days a week for at least 5 years in this environment, so they should at least be visiting with you. I’ve worked with a surprising number of teenagers who didn’t visit the schools they now attend – their parents chose for them. There is potential for disaster here.

      3.     Ask How The School Handles Year 7 Transitions

All secondary schools work hard on the transition to year 7, but they all handle it differently. Generally, year 7’s will start a day earlier than the rest of the school, and some even prepare residential trips so the children can make friends before they start. Ask the question of all your schools and consider what approach will work best for your child.

      4.     Friends, Friends, Friends!

Never underestimate the value of current friends for your children. Yesterday my younger son came home and told me that most of his friends won’t be going to the same school as him. Now he is an independent boy who is very self-sufficient, but for some children this news and the schoolyard gossip can really affect the way your child feels about secondary school. How will this change affect your child’s current friendships?

      5.     Single Sex Or Mixed Schooling?

If this is an option it’s another minefield for parents. I’ll be honest I wasn’t keen on single-sex schooling, but my son is much happier in that environment than the mixed sex school he started in (more on that later). So keep an open mind and prepare to be surprised.

     

6.    Does It Offer The Right Subjects?

I know it sounds early, but subject options are an important part of your child’s future so should be considered at the beginning. Does the school offer all the artistic or creative subjects your child might want? Is there a choice of fresh, modern topics or are they more traditional? For example, I’m working with a teenager now who is very creative, but has just discovered she can only take one creative subject. Children tend to flourish and achieve more if they are able to do subjects they love, so make sure the school is right for your child.

   

     7.   How Will Your Children Get There?

Can they walk, cycle or take the bus, or will you need to transport them yourself? Is your child ready for independent travel or are you still going to be doing the school run for a while? If so, is there a possibility of carpooling? It’s a small thing, but it will make a big difference to your life, and your child’s.

     8 . Your Child’s Opinion Matters!

Don’t follow your natural instinct of ‘I know what’s best for my child’. Really listen to them and what they want. Discuss the options with them, take them with you and open their eyes to things they won’t have even thought of. They have to spend the next 5 years there after all!

     9.   Always Have A Backup

Once you’ve settled on your first choice, make sure you have a second and a third as well. The amount of heartache that can be avoided by having those different options ready is worth the pre-planning, and remember that there is an appeal process.

And finally…

     10. We Might Make The Wrong Choice

We all work really hard to get our children into good schools and hope that this will lead to a good life. But after one term you see your happy, confident child become withdrawn, distant and dreading going to school. I say this with sadness because it happened to us – my younger son just didn’t fit into the academic model of his firsts secondary school and it wasn’t working. But we were able to move him almost instantly and the new school fits him like a glove. So listen to your instincts – there’s ‘settling in’ and there’s ‘it’s not working’. Don’t be hard on yourself, just do something about it!

Good luck to you all, and hopefully I’ll see you at some open evenings soon!